Attitude changed the course of my night

Today…was an adventure — an adventure that has reminded me attitude is everything.

An old childhood friend (more like a sister) and I met up to go to the Local Natives concert! They have not played a show in Denver for 4 years! I have been waiting for this! Maria was 50 minutes late to when she was supposed to be at my house. I wasn’t too worried about it, though. We finally got to the venue. As we were driving I was telling her all about how I always get tickets in Denver, sort of as if I was nonchalantly accepting the fact it would happen again tonight. Reached the line at last…and then suddenly Maria realized she forgot her ID as she frantically searched her bag! I was just laughing. She kept saying how bad she felt about being late and then not being able to get in to the venue and how upset that could make someone. She was right, that could totally make someone upset; if that someone didn’t have their values lined up. Sure, you could have a concert going buddie that is on time and has their ID ready… but that’s boring. I mean, why not change it up? We were only missing the opener at that point.

I say ONLY, but once she got her roommate to send a picture of her passport in order to be admitted, we caught the last few songs of Moses Sumney and he was absolutely amazing… Amazing. I have never heard nor seen anything like him and highly recommend giving a listen! As far as the Local Natives… WOW! We had an excellent view! They were phenomenal live! He even crowd surfed while he sang Sun Hands. It was a great vibe. Just listen to Sun Hands while imaging jumping up and down with joy and your hands raised towards the sky. I really can’t even articulate myself properly about it. I was left speechless after that show! So much harmony and happiness 🙂 They even played a live cover from one of Johny Cash’s unreleased albums in the 80’s. It was purely amazing.

The first song played for the encore was Colombia, which was prefaced with “this song means the world to me,” and boy did it mean the world to me, too. The lyrics that really stood out were “Every night I ask myself, am I loving enough, am I loving enough, am I loving enough? And every night I ask myself, am I giving enough?…”

Those lyrics speak the truth that has been very present in my life recently. If you follow my blog and have read the previous post “Self Tree Strategy,” I’m about to talk about it again.

So, we were walking back to my car… only to discover… it wasn’t there. Ha ha ha. I was really laughing, because part of me knew it would get towed while still hopeful enough that it wouldn’t. It’s not like it was illegally parked, though! Anyways, I was surprisingly not upset (or maybe that wasn’t a surprise). It was just okay. I mean, we could have walked back to my car and went home… or we could have gotten it towed and had to go on an adventure to get it back while meeting interesting people along the way! I love when “bad” things happen to me because it keeps my life so interesting. My $30 night quickly turned into a $300 night. What was I going to do with my tax return anyways… I was thinking about how our attitudes affect other people. I could have been upset about it, causing Maria to have a less fun time. Instead, I pointed out all of the positive things and called it an adventure rather than negative night, making it all the more memorable. Whenever things like this happen, you always look back on them and laugh. Why not laugh before having to look back on it?

While we waited to go retrieve my car, we met a few people. Two came up and talked to us, while we went and talked to one. The two that came up were a bit sketchy. First, a guy came up and spelt out the word OGDEN asking where the street was. It was just one block away so I pointed to it for him. He seemed unsatisfied with our answer and laughed saying he knew he was headed in the right direction. We didn’t think anything of it until he didn’t go the right direction and stopped to talk to another girl sitting on the curb. Is spelling out the street name you are by a code for drugs or underground prostitution? If you actually tell them where the street is, you don’t understand and aren’t interested? This could very well be a thing. We were down in “the pit” after all. This homeless lady I met once told me that area in Denver is called the pit, and is full of methamphetamine addiction and underground prostitution.

The second guy actually came up to us while we were talking to the girl I initiated a conversation with. I saw him creeping up from a distance. He slowly kept approaching and I saw him from the corner of my eye. He was very evidently on drugs. At last he reached us and asked, “hey do you guys got any L?” I had no idea what that was (which is probably good if I don’t know street names for drugs… I’m not a drug addict in case my mom is reading this). I said “no, sorry” to the guy and then turned back to talk to the other girl. I suppose that was rude but he kind of gave me the creeps and I could tell the other girls I was with were uncomfortable. Moving on! The whole night while we were just out there alone I was surprised that I did not feel an ounce of fear. Everything was positive because you can make it positive!

The girl we met, Bethany, was alone as she seemed to be waiting. I asked how her night was going and she told us about how she made it to the Ogden and Filmore in the same night by being an impulsive person. I ended up telling her about how we should be more like trees and love people as much as trees give off oxygen, never doubting how much we can grow, and she seemed to be really happy to be talking to us and inspired by that idea. She even consented to having me take her picture for the #selftreestrategy. The point behind this idea is to eliminate our selfie obsessed culture by instead taking a picture of someone whom you would have otherwise ignored, after talking to them enough to learn something about their day, passion, or life for them to say it’s okay. Besides what I’ve already told you about Bethany’s day, she has passion for music and running.

 

My phone was running on 3% when I took this picture. I realized just how dependent I am on my cell phone, it’s sad. I kept thinking that if my phone were to die, I couldn’t call the towing company, I couldn’t call anyone for help, I couldn’t GPS my way there or home, I couldn’t Instagram Bethany, I couldn’t tell what time it was…

Does my life really depend on the thing? No. While it helps tremendously, it’s completely unnecessary. Everything works out in the end, just as it did tonight. The guy at the towing company was super nice and humorous. His name was Ron, and he acted like he was going to give me a discounted charge, but his boss was right there. He said, “Oh you’re the sweet girl I talked to on the phone!” I didn’t think I was that sweet but I guess you must get a lot of angry phone calls when working at a towing company… I didn’t end up getting a discount, but I got my car…which Ron called Betsy. I guess it’s no longer “Yolanda the Honda” it’s Betsy.

I’d say it was a successful Saturday night. It wasn’t boring, that’s for sure. I can’t wait to go out tomorrow night with Maria to see The Bombay Bicycle Club! I am not as in love with them, but I’m sure it’ll be a good show. Just hopefully we don’t get towed and/or inquired about drugs and prostitution.

…and the night ends with, “your mom is still super cute hahaha can I raid your pantry.”

To sum it up. Our attitudes affect those around us and we should keep that in mind before we become upset about something so small in the long run. I just had the privilege of going to a concert venue with my own leisure time to witness a live musician that I love. I had shoes on my feet and dinner in my belly. I had to pay a ridiculous charge to get my car back, but those green pieces of paper are not my wealth. My wealth was in the time spent and memories made with Maria. We are both pretty spontaneous, impulsive people when it comes to buying just one more concert ticket when we know we shouldn’t (that’s how we ended up going to them back to back in the same weekend). But if you think about it, money comes and goes. We’re in college and our time is more valuable than anything else we can spend.

How are you spending yours?

Self Tree Strategy

I was talking to my buddie Adam today and he really inspired me with a simple metaphor.

What do we and trees have in common? 

We are both meant to grow. Once a tree grows taller, it is able to give off more oxygen and impact the world in a bigger way. That’s just how we should be. There are people who are so young that are changing the world and here you stand, however old you are, and what have you done? What ambitions have you acted upon? How have you made the world around you a better place? Too often the answer is, “I don’t know.” People seem to have the desire to make change, but they still haven’t done anything. Why not?

That brings me to his second question: What does a tree lack that we have? 

(I thought to myself, well…trees don’t have brains, consciousness, or hearts.) Those are all true, but the big thing he wanted to touch on was DOUBT. Trees don’t doubt themselves. We do.

The reason the redwood can grow so tall is because it doesn’t wake up and think to itself, “maybe the sky won’t allow me to get any bigger. I don’t think I can do this.” The redwood is like HECK YES. I’ve got roots, I see that there are nutrients around to help me, I’ve got this. I’m going to be the tallest tree there is, and I’m going to produce the most oxygen I can…and then go beyond that.

Oxygen to a tree is as love is to us. We should be giving love to those around us as much as a tree gives off oxygen. I don’t know if you realize this, but that’s all a tree really does as long as it lives.

Let me ask you this: Are you alive? 

Are you really alive? A very smart man (MLK) once said, “if you don’t live for something, you will die for nothing.”  That speaks so much truth. Are you passionate about anything? Do you show people love? And I’m not just talking about your immediate group of friends or family. Do you include the new people at work? Do you step in when you see something wrong happening? Do you wonder about peoples struggles? Do you care about improving yourself? Or are you silently existing, but not alive.

We live in a world and a culture where selfies are widespread and interest in the people you interact with as a part of your routine life is scarce. With our technology consuming world, we are no longer forced to interact with one another when we have hundreds of Facebook friends and don’t have to maintain as many face to face conversations in order to have a relationship with someone. We never have to meet new people. Is that why so little of us care? I actually think about that a lot and try to make an effort to learn something new or take interest in the people around me. Today for example, we got a new guy at work and he’s very quiet. I took a few minutes out of my routine day to talk to him, and he ended up spilling his life story to me within a matter of moments and simple questions. We now share a comfortable connection that means more than the basic greeting.

I think about HONY (Humans of New York) a lot too. How this photographer named Brandon goes around New York City and photographs people he meets, sharing something they have said with their picture online. The funny thing is that everything he gets them to say, is beyond the surface of responses you would get from a stranger. He learns bits and pieces about their lives and events or beliefs that make them who they are. He does this by asking questions and being a genuine human being. We so often don’t let our guards down because we’re afraid. We have the natural instinct for survival that we don’t want to vulnerably share our stories with others. In reality, everyone has a story, and we all want someone who is willing to listen to it. The funny thing is that I’ve been doing something similar to Brandon before I even knew he existed. If you know me, you know that I’m always at coffee shops or meeting some crazy people only to take pictures of them and share them on my blog or Instagram with things they have said that I will remember. I absolutely fell in love with HONY when I discovered it. He wrote a book (even a children’s version), keeps a Facebook page, and a blog. I highly recommend following him, you will be inspired just as I am.

What if instead of taking selfies… we took pictures of people in our daily lives? What if we shared their stories, their struggles, their successes… What if we consciously did the small act of being less selfish and more uplifting by simply removing selfies from our lives and bringing in this new idea of making other people feel special — as if they’re worth something.

The world is full of the walking wounded. We’re all struggling daily and a little bit of kindness can go a long way. No, it WILL go a long way. How would you feel going into a place where your best friend or family member wasn’t there to be supporting you in a time of need, and having just one person who showed a remote interest in your life… Someone who is genuinely interested in something beyond themselves.

Tomorrow is A Day Without Hate, the movement started in Standley Lake high school’s English Class 7 years ago that Adam was in. This day was a product of the aftermath left behind in school shootings. Nobody had any idea Day Without Hate would be as big as it is today, and it can only grow beyond what it is now. From one Colorado high school, to the district, state, country, and now spreading into other countries… Next stop: THE WORLD. Adam is definitely someone who lives these positive ideas every day and is constantly inspiring others to do the same. He is always bettering himself and people around him. We should be more like Adam, and we should be more like trees.

I’m going to call this anti-selfie movement (if you will) the SELF TREE STRATEGY. Essentially, instead of taking a selfie, you take a picture of someone in your daily life that you would have otherwise normally looked past, and share it with something you have learned about them simply by showing a genuine interest. Taking this simple interest in another human being should inspire and spread positivity through an act of love rather than glorifying yourself in a selfie. It is a strategy to become more like the previously mentioned tree. It’s time for all of us to grow and really start living.

#selftreestratgey 

Your lack of effort is insulting

Brace yourself for my end-of-semeter-rant.

I had two finals today, and during both was insulted by other students lack of effort. Here I am, having stayed up all night and morning and even week to do the best work I could do, only to get to my typography class early and see that 5 other students are literally finishing their books right then. In a few students cases, they finished their books after 20 minutes into the class.

Seriously? I understand procrastination… I’m a pro… but taking up class time to finish your FINAL is just insulting to the instructor and those of us who have to wait for you having went the extra little step to finish it before class ourselves.

Not only that, but I was not impressed by the work of my classmates. I usually have things to say during critique, but this time I sat silently because the work was so bad I couldn’t think of anything positive to partner a constructive piece of feedback with. I don’t even think I’m being over critical. There were glue marks, the books didn’t close, they were half-assed and covered in ink smears, had no covers, wrong page numbers, each typography layout looked the same or like they just threw up on the page… I could NOT believe the lack of effort. My poor teacher who is an industry expert just sits there and has to be nice about it.

In that same class for a different assignment, one girl walks in late and pins up her unmated poster with the pin in the middle of the page. She literally stuck a push pin through the middle of her work, which was also printed on the crappy printer. What does that say about how valuable you think the work you produce is? That girl didn’t even show up today. Theres this other kid that always sits outside during class playing video games and does who knows what on his computer. He rudely sat on his laptop during critique today too. He always tries to find a way to make a problem. “I don’t like that music. I don’t want to do this assignment. I can’t see it from over here in order to answer the question you just asked me that has nothing to do with the small details I can’t see and everything to do with the overall layout. I can’t log in to the server. Your assignments are stupid. I don’t have a flashdrive. I don’t like it.”

CHILD. YOU ARE IN COLLEGE. ACT LIKE AN ADULT. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO DO FOR THE SAKE OF LEARNING SOMETHING OR PLEASING A CLIENT. HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GET A JOB. YOUR MOM ISN’T ALWAYS GOING TO PAY YOUR BILLS. STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IRRELEVANT ISSUES AND DO YOUR WORK.

So many times… so many times… did I have to step in and say something to this kid because he was just so terribly rude to my sweet teacher who has done nothing wrong and everything to try and help him. He bullied her, honestly! It is not okay! I don’t understand how someone could show such a lack of respect to a person who deserves more respect than we can give.

I gave her some Egyptian treats today and put a flower on her desk since it was the last class.

ANYWAYS. I AM INSULTED. I mean, I was so stressed out about my final not being good enough, when in reality it will probably get the highest grade in my class. Why do I have to stress myself out knowing that I can do better, when other kids just stick push pins through the middle of their work and don’t pay any attention to the details that I spend hours on?

On a separate note, I am also very insulted with the lack of effort by my academic advisor. I can’t stand that woman. I physically went into her office 3 weeks ago. There were problems that needed taken care of in order to eliminate registration holds. I took care of them. Came in a few days later and sat down to patiently wait for her crazy butt to register me for the classes I need (after arguing with her about the fact a class she wanted to register me for was NOT on my degree plan and if I’m paying over $1,000 per class I should get to pick my own electives). She finally registered me. A week later emailed me in a rude tone asking if I took care of the hold problems in order to register for summer classeS. I was like, LADY, did I not come in and see you last week to take care of this? She apologized for the email and said yes. TODAY. I GOT 3 ANNOYING PHONE CALLS ABOUT REGISTERING FOR SUMMER CLASSES. DID I NOT ALREADY REGISTER?!?!?!?! I emailed her asking about it. No response. Called and left a voicemail. No response. I can’t deal with this nonesense. How difficult is it to comeplete the ONE job you have which is entering the course codes into your system that I ALREADY PROVIDED FOR YOU. I might end up not taking summer classes because of this nonesense.

Back to original topic: I’ll probably make a separate post for the project itself since it was pretty cool and different from anything I’ve ever done before.

50 reasons not to date a graphic designer

a bourbon for silvia

1. They are very weird people.

2. There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.
3. They will analyse conversations in layers.
4. You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA.
5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
6. They hate each other.

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“Those are my Blaas”

I love my Typographic Design teacher! When I first met her, I thought she was a little on the crazy side.

I still think she is crazy, because she is for the most part… but in the most adorable, functional way. She’s about 56 years old, but I would have guessed she was maybe 40 tops.  She is so young at heart and a tiny little adorable woman who always has her hair done 🙂 She has the same fashion sense as I do, and boy is she stylin. We actually came to class one day virtually dressed the same. It was freaky. I almost feel as though we have a scary amount in common, just as far as personality traits, dreams, and interests go.

She has traveled the world, been to some of the same places I’ve been and experienced things that I have yet to experience but plan on doing. Just last week we were talking about traveling and she was telling me about taking her niece abroad and how afraid she was to be alone, while she herself believes experiencing the city alone is something you just have to do for even a brief moment. So she took her to Ireland first because it’s a good place to start in becoming comfortable because a lot of people still speak English. I couldn’t agree more with the need to experience a new place by yourself for a moment, and we both share the same lack of fear when it comes to an adventurous situation like that. She talks a LOT. Matter of fact, we just had over a half hour conversation about food and foreign recipes. She makes all of this beautiful, aesthetic, tasty looking food from all cultures. She is so culturally interested in diversity, just as I am. I go over to her desk and she has all these huge pictures printed of food she has made, and says, “those are my blaas.” I just thought that was really cute and funny. She is also a seasoned wine connoisseur and was sharing all of these cultural backgrounds and tastes with me. I asked what she was going to do with the pictures and she giggled all shy and hid her face in her hands to say, “I’m going to put them in my book.” She has a ton of books that she has made… She has so many secrets… awesome, life fulfilling secrets… about everything.

  

She is an excellent Graphic Designer and only teaches part time at RMCAD because she still freelances for very reputable companies. She has also held jobs as an art director (for those of you who don’t know, thats probably the highest position you can get on the design team for a big company). She has the most fascinating things to say, and very valuable input to give on virtually anything. We both geek out about paper stock, and she’s always really impressed with my book binding. She keeps complimenting me in such beautiful ways. She notices little things about me that I didn’t think were worth noticing and points them out to make sure I know I possess valuable traits. I joined her class late, and she told me that she was impressed with how quickly I catch up and excel beyond her expectations for the class. I have an innate ability to create and understand typography (which I was like, wow. Coming from the typography pro!) It’s apparently pretty difficult for designers to understand typography because they have to take apart the words and characters and view them as pictures to be manipulated. You really have to think outside the box, and many good graphic designers still have trouble with the type aspect. Today I was telling her about a controversial side project I wanted to start, and she said that she loves the way I think. The way I think is what will make me a great graphic designer. Making connections between every day life and turning those experiences into a means for change or social uproar. I can understand how to do those things.

Everything this woman says is gold. I have wanted to quote her so many times! The way she talks about bad type is hilarious. “Oh, that’s wretched.” I think it might just be the way she says it. Or even the way she talks about vegetables at the farmers market (which is just another thing we have in common, a love for fresh organic local food) she was describing the kale in all of it’s different colors and said, “boy do I just want to take those home and put them in a vase.” … which is exactly the silly type of thing I could see myself doing. Putting your vegetables in a vase.

I just adore her. She isn’t married, and she seems to have lived a very exciting life. I just want to know everything about her and thank God that I was able to meet and work with such an inspiring, knowledgable, entertaining, character. Next week is my last week in her class, and while she talks a lot and is a little crazy, I dearly hope we cross paths again in the curriculum!

 

If you died today…

What would you have done differently?

If you knew that today was your last… would you have smiled at the stranger you passed instead of ignoring them? I was thinking about that today. I didn’t smile at a few people that I could have, and I’m sorry I didn’t.

If today was my last day… I would have smiled. I would have written a manual of some sort of something that could potentially help people after I’m gone. I would have skyped my family in Egypt. I would hug my mom. I would forgive someone that still needs forgiving. I would tell people that are impactful in my life that I love them. I would have responded quicker to my friends. I would have thanked my teachers. I would have taken a moment to lay in the grass and look up at the sky. I would have gotten out of bed earlier. I would have kissed someone. I would have told my friends pursuing music to follow their dreams, that I believe in them. I would have tried something that I’ve never done and gone somewhere I’ve never gone. I would have wrote down my thoughts. I would have thanked God for giving me today the minute I woke up.

All these things… I wonder if by consciously doing them each day we would be happier and more fulfilled. What would you have done differently? It’s not unheard of to think this way, but in reality we don’t know which day will be our last. I’ve always thought I would die young, but that should be nothing more than a reminder to enjoy what you have and accomplish as much as you can now. Do you want to leave a big footprint behind, or recycled carbon dioxide?

Kayleigh sent me a letter today, and inside talked about someone who likes to keep very few things — his bed on the floor, a stack of books perfectly ordered and a file cabinet. Why does the American dream have us believing we aren’t successful until we have big houses with a lot of shit inside? Big garages with even more shit inside that you never use or look at. If you died today, what would have been your wealth?

The shit you have, or the people and purposes you invested in?

Think about that.

And P.S. If you’re reading this I just want you to know I love you. You are a wonderful human being with so much potential. Don’t be afraid to live life playing offense.

 

We live our lives 8.5 x 11

My typographic design teacher said something the other day that I really took to heart in a way she didn’t intend me to. She wasn’t even talking to me, actually. We were choosing sizes for the books we’re designing in class and she said that to a student who was about to choose the default size of 8.5 x 11in.

We live our lives 8.5 x 11. Don’t we? 

When confronted with a world of opportunities and choice, how often do we simply fall back into the behavior economic model of the default effect? By default, we live letter sized. We don’t have to live 8.5 x 11! Wether that be in design, we can choose what we want all the way down to the smallest millimeter… and you know what? It doesn’t even have to be a rectangle. It can be a circle. It can be an organic shape that you laser cut. It can be anything. Our lives can be anything.

I don’t want to live the default life. The default life of graduating high school, going to a college that wasn’t your first choice because the first choice is too expensive, too far away, too big a leap, too rigorous. The default life of getting a degree in something that will pay the bills but doesn’t necessarily make you happy, all the while lying to yourself that you will have time to do what makes you happy on the side. The default life of staying in one place because you need to find a husband or wife there to settle down and buy a house and have kids and then be stagnant for several years following… until you retire. Then what happens when you retire? You take up knitting or walking or something else you couldn’t have done when you were young because your body can’t handle it. I DON’T want to live 8.5 x 11. Letter size is functional, but it’s boring.

Do you want to be functional and boring? Or do you want to be exceptional? Are you a product of a laser jet printer or a 3D, saddle stitch, dye-cut printer? 

There has been talk about me moving to Spain… and I’m serious! I’ve never been to Spain, but I feel drawn to it. I want to go there, and I plan on living there! People always ask me why. They’re like, cool, are you going out there to study? Why are you going to Spain? … Just to exist. That’s your answer. I could do what I’m doing here, or I could do what I’m doing… there. I plan on moving out there in September since Kayleigh’s wedding is in August. I’ll be continuing my education with RMCAD’s online graphic design degree program and then coming back (maybe) to finish it on ground. I still need to figure out the visa. It might end up that I’m only there for 4 months without a visa and then move to another country for 4 months and so on and so forth. I’ve been thinking about Asia a lot. Asian cultures are the most furthest removed from ours. European is very similar, but Asian is completely different and leaves great potential to experience culture shock. That’s exactly why I want to do it.

I’m tired of living the comfortable, 8.5 x 11 life. 

The Naked Form of Art

I was at the Mercury Cafe the other night, listening to my friend preform some very beautiful and powerful poetry about that of which meant something to her. It inspired me to get back into writing and preforming poetry… and today I was inspired to write about something that has been constantly on my mind. The title of this blog post came from something funny the speaker at the cafe said, “Poetry is a naked form of art, so be respectful.”

 

WHEN WILL SHE GO – By Miranda Samon

 

When will she go.

When will the solo female traveler decide to leave, to go and to be free

To get out of the same place she has always been.

 

When!

Will it be when the trees turn green or the sky stays bright,

when her mornings are too cold or when it remains warm at night.

Will it be when she smells new foreign cuisine,

when she has her first sushi, gets sick of ramen noodles, or craves something lean?

 

Perhaps when she gets bored with people in her life,

When the man she desires doesn’t want to be with her, or when he finally does

When her distant childhood father tries to reconnect

when her best friend gets married and moves far away

or when she just gets bored, heck!

 

When will she take the leap

To leave the place she is forced to call home.

When she realizes this life she’s been living has been stagnant as stone

 

Will it be when wanderlust starts to eat her soul?

When the hearts of people close to her turn cold

When she doesn’t feel whole

When her living room furniture is sold

When the words out of her mouth can no longer flow

When she stubs her toe, or

When her lawn is too dead to mow

When her flower garden doesn’t grow

When her creativity is at an ultimate low

When he tells her not to go

Or when the answer is no

WHEN

 

When will she go

 

Will it be when she paints?

When she paints a picture for a virgin traveler

of the beauty felt all around, on the top of a Swiss mountain

of the air, stolen straight from her lungs.

of the earth, living lush beneath her feet.

of the freedom —

she felt first stepping foot on that mountain.

 

When she thought for the first time that she could do anything.

When she had attainable dreams…

when she discovered the unquenchable adventure running through her veins.

When being home is now unbearable pain.

 

Will it be when routine becomes old?

When the paint on her kitchen walls

start to fade into a gray that no longer screams bold

When she runs out of books to read.

When she doesn’t want to read other peoples books anymore

When she desperately wants to hear the words,

“Miranda, If people were books, I would read yours”

 

When will this solo female traveler leave?

Why is she still here?

Nineteen years.

Nineteen years.

Nineteen

Years.

 

Nine

teen,

Still here

years.

 

What’s keeping her here?

When will her need for adventure

overpower her fear of the unknown.

When will she

 

go.

Dealing with Sexual Abuse at Work

Today something happened that I’m really upset about. I’m upset with the person who did it but I’m more upset with myself.

As one of very few females working at Best Buy, I tend to get a lot of male attention. I was walking up to the front of the store to get a walkie when this guy followed me up there and said he would specifically like my help with a router. I am always happy to help anyone so I go back there with him, asked about his needs then recommended a product. He grabs it, smacks my ass, then chuckles and says “let’s do it.”

Are you kidding me? I am used to getting hit on verbally, and receiving sexist comments, but going as far as to inappropriately touch the employee is not okay. I was so taken back, angry, and shocked… that I ignored it even happened by default and asked if he would like me to ring him out… That was the most painful and uncomfortable check out because I had to keep ignoring his pig-like comments to do my job.

He left and I was suddenly very upset with myself for letting him believe what he did was okay. I was red with anger and embarrassment. I should have immediately told him that was inappropriate and asked him to leave. But what did I do? Exactly what every other inferior feeling woman does, and ignored it. This is the same kind of man who would perpetrate a woman without clear given consent and think it was okay. The same man who would say she asked for it because she was wearing a fitting dress. This is the kind of man that so very needed to be escorted out of the store in order to understand the severity of his actions. I am so upset with myself for not doing something about it. After telling my supervisor and asking him what I should have done, he was upset and said that he would have escorted him out immediately… doesn’t matter what he was buying. I want to believe that would have happened but I can’t imagine the scenario playing out perfectly in my head.

My other supervisor handled a different situation the other day by adding humor to it. He was talking to these two guys and said, “Okay I’m going to leave you with [male associate] now,” and one guy looks me up and down as I stand next to him and says, “you can leave my friend with him, can you leave me with her?” I was silent but in my head said, no. Creepy. Go away. And my supervisor responds, “if you buy a fridge,” then we walk away as he yells “I’ll buy anything!”  There is a fine line between flattering and creepy. A fine line between okay and not okay. Some women like the attention — I’m not one of them.

I wish I didn’t have to deal with it. I wish I could wear my uniform without having to be conscious about how good my butt looks in those specific pants. The sole fact that I am a semi attractive woman determines that I will be inevitably harassed. I wish I could just work and not hear what I do on a daily basis. I don’t want the attention from all these men, old men, creepy men, married men… The only attention I want is from one man. Sometimes I’ll dress in “club attire” but I mainly like to look like a hobo. It’s comfortable and I don’t feel like a piece of meat. I was just talking to someone the other day about how my favorite shirt cost me $3 and is missing buttons.

That’s just it — I shouldn’t have to change the way I dress for the sake of not receiving sexual harassment. Society makes us girls want to look nice, but it’s also a painful sacrifice of dignity when the wrong man notices. We shouldn’t have to meet aesthetic standards and then be harassed because of them. We shouldn’t have to plan our routes in only places that are safe for solo female travelers to go. We shouldn’t be limited or subjected to these things because of what we have between our legs.

I got over the fact that guy treated me that way, but I’m not sure when I will get over the sad way I responded. I am strongly against that treatment to women and want to become an activist, and yet I can’t even stand up for myself. I shouldn’t need my big scary man supervisor to tell him to leave. I should have put him in his place… and you should too. If we keep ignoring it, it will keep happening.